While walking at a park, there was an older couple sitting at a park bench next to the sidewalk. We said hi and I said, "hey, you probably know what we do—." She cut me off, "oh, I know." I said, "well, could I ask you if—." "Why don't you get a life!" she yelled. "It's a free country." I gasped, then paused, then said, "wow, after 20 years, I'm so glad to learn that this is a free country. Thank you so much." She kept heckling as her husband tried to calm her down. I walked away. I'm still not the best at keeping my cool in those situations. If not for my religion, I would have let her know what I probably should keep to myself. Hold your peace, Christ advises. He must be so disappointed watching me lose my peace to some old hag. I'll try to be more loving. Rephrasing that previous sentence would probably be a good start. Today was a good day. We had a revelatory MLC today. I was energetic and a little bit of a spaz, including knocking over some stuff on my table while trying to slide under it to get to my chair, and I didn't get too hard on myself. President reminded me, "I love having you here, you're a good man." I think he knows how quickly I forget. I think God wants me to understand that, and I'm getting better. Yesterday, I went on exchanges with Elder Stewart. I have had very few interactions with him. The few I have had seemed fake or like he was just correcting me. Thus, I wasn't thrilled with the idea of an exchange with him. I was almost mad. We daily planned and we had a dispute about a planning method and I was pretty sharp about it. I prayed for peace and for love. I remember thinking, "this guy knows nothing about me. Why should I take his advice?" We sat down for comp study and he said, "well, Elder Whiteley, I don't know anything about you." He went on and asked a few basic questions. He just listened. It opened the door for me to talk, even if I didn't realize it. As I went throughout the exchange, I realized how well-meaning and thoughtful he was. I learned about the trials he faced coming on a mission and had a whole new perspective on how good this kid was. How stupid it was for me to judge him so harshly. Frankly, it's exactly what I struggle with as a leader. Learning to forgive and be kind will do far more than anything else. I had a man walk up to me mid-conversation in church. He grabbed my shoulder and said, "I need to talk to you." I followed the older gentleman a stride or two away from the conversation my companion was finishing up. He said, "the spirit left when you read the scriptures." Caught off-guard, I attempted to recall what he may have been talking about. I asked him to jog my memory. He said, "when we were reading in Come, Follow Me with Mike and Maddie (recent members to the church), you read it theatrically. I felt the spirit leave. You were drawing the attention to yourself; you took away from the scriptures. Even Maddie noticed it. What if she starts doing that? I even talked with my wife about it and she agreed." My face was blank. I had a lot of thoughts and feelings about what he said—but I didn't have any formulated conclusion. I said, "well, my apologies." This isn't the first time I've heard something like this. He said, "no need to apologize. Be humble; be teachable." He walked away. I didn't know how I should feel about it. Maybe he was right that it detracted from the feeling of the scriptures. It's quite possible that this older couple felt peeved by something new and different—a different way of someone expressing their love for the scriptures. Either way, know your audience. The point is to help them feel the spirit; to try to meet them where they are. The Sacrament meeting fell short a few minutes, so they asked me from the pulpit to bear my testimony to close the meeting. I got up there and felt comfortable. I was being myself. I talked about my personal experience in Casper and coming to love others by becoming like them as Paul commands in 1 Corinthians 9:22-23. I hoped the congregation would try to rewire their brains to consider their trials opportunities to learn how to aid others in their trials. I had a few people throughout the day comment on my testimony. One told me, "I can't believe you just got up their unprepared and talked like that! I would have started crying!" These theatrics do not detract from the spirit. They do, however, need to be bridled. It takes time. In a Come, Follow Me lesson later that evening, the Lord's commandment to not hide your talents, but use them, was reiterated. I had forgotten that we were to do comp study from 8 to 9, and Elder Peña wanted to go visit some other missionaries instead. I asked him if we could do comp study, citing the importance of these studies. At the end of the study, he told me he wanted to work on being a more engaging teacher. Elder Peña, bless his heart, is well-meaning but can be a dull listen when teaching. So, I asked him to read part of Saints with me. He felt uncomfortable trying to read it with enthusiasm. He felt so self-conscious. It's almost as if he was timid because of his lack of self-confidence in what he was saying and/or how it would be perceived. Finally, I said, "Elder Peña, tell me a story." "I don't know," he responded. "Tell me about your mother." "She grew up in Tucson." "Have you been?" "Yea." "What did you like about it?" "There was a park there." "What did you like about it?" "It was shaped like a G. It was called circle g park." "Is that what made it fun?" "No, my family was there." "What do you love about your family?" There was a deep, long silence. "What are you thinking about?" "I'm worried about them. I don't know where my focus should be. I'm out here trying to give people what I'm losing at home." "What's that?" "Having a happy family together." Elder Peña's parents are separated and going through a divorce. "I'm afraid they're losing what I'm trying to hold on to," he confessed. I hugged him. I told him how much I loved him. I told him it would be alright and that I was so impressed with his spiritual stature. At first, I was tempted to preach or to read scriptures in response. Instead, I based it on him. If needed, I tapped into personal experience. Then, this scripture came naturally: "Dearly beloved [Elder Peña], let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power, then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for His arm to be revealed. " I told Sister Palmer about that older man telling me the spirit left when I read the scriptures. She said, "oh, that just means they don't know you well enough." Theatrics and my personality are vital to my ministry. They must be tailored. They do a lot of good, and I may misuse them, but I will not hide them for fear of intolerance or being misunderstood. I'm here to learn, to make mistakes, and to tell great stories. I am here to get lost in others' lives.
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