As you probably know, I am exhausted. I have a burning desire to write, but I am just exhausted. I promise I'll catch up. I'll give this one highlight. Texting President Palmer about a few things, he ended the exchange with, "by the way, I love the Elder Two Potato post!" That made me really happy. You can tell me you love me, but nothing says I love you like taking the time to view and appreciate my work. I never feel more understood than when someone says, "I feel this photo...I know exactly how this feels." They have that spark in their eye, that excitement that says, "I am understood!" One of the best compliments I've ever been given is from Neil Montesano. Looking through my senior year photography project book from the Philippines, amidst a bustling crowd, he took me aside and said, "this is exactly how it felt for me to grow up in these style of neighborhoods. It just says it all." Of course, I have a long way to go as a photographer, but I felt so complete that day. I was able to interview Tom today. Using three tables, two folding chairs, a primary chair, two tripods, three phones, a muted window, and a white wall, the shot looked great. Though the other elders were poking fun at my specificity, they ended up being very complimentary of the look at the end. It looked really good. After he finished, I invited the few of those who were there to share how they felt during his testimony. The response by both parties was fantastic and a feeling of unity and love was present. Though I didn't need to talk during the shoot, I felt I directed the room. I was not dominating, I was directing. I was directing a feeling, and capturing it. Recently, I've been really down on myself. I go in cycles. My dad was talking to me about his struggles being away from the family for work and it struck me how, like me, he also has to deal with administrative duties, staying focused, helping people motivate and do all the little things over a seriously long amount of time away from home. I brought this up to him and he said the mission is still the most temporally difficult thing he has done in his life. He also told me a story of how he carried his white handbook with him every single day of his mission except one. Some elders were sleeping over at their place in preparation for Henry B. Eyring to come and speak at the mission. Those elders poked fun at my dad for being overly obedient and too much of a stickler, pointing out the carrying of his handbook. To avoid heckling, the next day he decided to not bring it. In the meeting, Elder Eyring called him out saying, "Elder Whiteley?" He stood. "Do you have your handbook on you?" He said no. Elder Eyring, caught off guard (prior to the meeting the mission president had probably informed Elder Eyring that Elder Whiteley never forgot to bring his handbook) then said, "well, if you did have it, what would this section say about this?" Today, I went on exchanges with another missionary. He is a nice kid and really seeks camaraderie. I was fairly indifferent during the exchange. I don't know why. He's nice, but I was tired, and sometimes I'm less inclined to make the effort. However, during exchange review, I felt a switch flip I hadn't felt flip in awhile. The prompting was subtle, and I almost missed it. I wasn't as in tune because I wasn't focusing on it as I should have earlier. However, now that I was listening, I heard, and acted. I asked a question about what he was struggling with. I sat and waited. I was silent at the right times, I spoke at the right time with words of comfort and direction, and I felt guided by the spirit. He began crying and he said he really needed it. I was glad to help unlock a little emotional knot. Often, the reservoir of our divinity is dammed by our unwillingness to love ourselves. To quote the Beastie Boys, "let it flow - let yourself go." During General Conference, President Nelson talked a lot about faith. "Increased faith" would be the answer to any challenge we face. The word faith has always been pretty meaningless to me, but one of the invitations President Nelson gave was to study what miracles were. I read his talk, then I pulled up the footnotes. I studied every reference looking for the connection between faith and miracles. In every reference, three elements were mentioned: belief, action, and then a miracle. In this order, we see how to increase faith. Believe, take action, and one will see miracles. Just in the short time I've been studying faith and miracles, I've seen my mind opened and my appreciation for faith grow beyond what I knew was possible—or necessary. Today, we were worried that a person we have been teaching for a while was not going to accept the invitation to follow the Word of Wisdom even though he was so close. We sat down with him, and in the conversation, he mentioned how much he loved D&C 89, a chapter he previously hated. I was reluctant to give it to him because of his previous indignation towards this section. He told us, "the spirit hit me so hard reading this section." He told us he was going to follow the Word of Wisdom and had a set plan. Seeing our surprise, he said, "You do have a positive influence. Sometimes we wonder if we have an impact on the world. Throughout these many visits, I have been changed! I've had so much fun! Doing my homework and then coming here and expanding our views on these scriptures has been amazing." "You have a positive impact. You do. Even if you do not realize it, the people you serve do. Everything you do leaves traces of goodness."
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